42. YES....AND

Feb 09, 2024

Listen in to hear my story of the time my roommate and I decided to crash the Aspen Comedy Festival. We had zero tickets, zero connections, but a whole lot of enthusiasm. Long story short, we ended up rubbing elbows with comedy legends and having the time of our lives, all because we embraced the "yes, and" mindset.

What You'll Learn from this Episode:

  • How the "Yes....And" concept in improvisational comedy can be used in your daily life
  • How to embrace uncertainty and create an adventurous approach to life
     

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Featured on the Show:

Aspen Comedy Festival

Second City Improve

 

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Full Episode Transcript: 

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 You're listening to the success minded woman with Deidrea Kiesling, episode 42, YES...AND


Hi, I'm Deidrea, wife and mom to three teenagers, coffee snob, and certified life and business coach. If you're a high achieving goal oriented woman and you know you were meant for more, then you are a success minded woman and you're in the right place. I'm here to help you make the money and the impact you've been dreaming of.

Welcome back to the podcast. And today this is a fun one. We're going to delve into the transformative power of embracing this concept of yes and. So I first heard of this concept many, many, many years ago when I was writing this podcast planning for it. I thought. When was this? And it was in 1998 or 1999.

So my roommate and I, at the time we were both, you know, youngish 30 something career women, ambitious and excited about life and, um, all of the things. Well, she was thinking about becoming. a standup comedian. And I thought, yes, I could see that in you. I think you could do that. And you would be really good at because she was so, so funny.

The kind of funny, like the observational comedy where you're just Uh, giving a story like your interpretation of a story where you just have a really funny interpretation of things. Um, anyway, she was so funny and I said, yes, I could see that in you. I can really see that you can do this and you could be really, really good at it.

Um, for me, looking back, I realized that that's one of my superpowers is I can see talent in other people. I can see the possibilities of what they can do and what they can achieve. And I actually, it's so interesting that now as a coach, that's what I do. I help people see the possibilities for them and I bring out their talents, their skills, their abilities, and help them really uncover that and discover that for themselves.

So. The more that I do this podcast and the more that I am in my coaching with my clients and speaking and continuing to study and, and, and learn and grow. The more I realize that there are so many times when I look at the past and I see something that I. Um, said yes to where I was interested in something, but then I didn't follow, follow up on it or didn't pursue it.

And now that I know any of those things I could have been good at, I could have achieved, I could have created for myself, but I didn't know this power of belief and about, um, visioning and about going for your goals and dreams with this basic premise that you say yes. So when you say yes. It opens up possibilities.

It gets you into expansion and it. You're basically saying I'm, I'm open. I'm ready. I'm interested. Okay. So this idea of yes. And I first heard about when my friend, my roommate was talking about being a standup comedian. I said, well, what can you do right now? And she said, well, I can go take an improv comedy class.

And so she did. And so she would go after work, uh, to this, Okay. Uh, improv class, and she would come home and she would tell us all, she would tell me all these stories about some of the people and what they said in the improv and some of the, you know, the stories that, you know, the scenes that kind of came out of that.

And she would also share with me some of the things that she was learning. And one of the first things that she learned that she shared with me is this concept of Yes. And so it's a, it's a, it's an approach in improvisational comedy that, that allows the, the people in the improvisational scene to really support each other.

And basically it's the idea that. You will carry through and be there to support your improvisational partner. So the basic concept is that these two words is that you are up for anything and that you will go along with whatever gets thrown your way. And I, this is what. The second city improv website says about it, and that is probably the most famous or one of the most famous improvisational, um, comedy schools and theaters.

And they, it said on their website that the basic concept of these two words is that you're up for anything and we'll go along with whatever gets thrown your way. So essentially you don't use the word no in improv very often. Don't you love that? Just don't use the word no. Um, although we know, of course.

There's definitely places where you say no, but in this example, the and part comes in when you are in a scene and can add to what your partner started rather than detracting from it. So. The main part of, or a big part of improv is that you're always there for your scene partner or your partners, and so in turn, they are always there for you.

So it says that this is the goal of yes. And by saying yes to your scene partner, you create something much more entertaining. So if you start a scene by saying that. You're an alien and then your scene partner completely commits to also being an alien being abducted by an alien, et cetera. They start to build the story of it, but on the other hand, if you start by saying you're a puppy and then you're seeing partner says, wait, I thought you were a cat.

The scene is compromised and not only do you feel less confident, but also the audience is less entertained. So it basically creates this opening of yes, and so that's the way this story. Evolves and grows and builds on each of the scene partners and really, it's such a great way of approaching life.

When you say yes, you say yes to your dreams. You say yes to the possibility. You say yes for what you would love. And when you say and it opens up to. What's next? What's possible? What can I do with what I have right now? And so back to my story about me and my roommate. So she Was going to her improv classes and she was having so much fun.

And one time I remember I will I will never forget this because she was so good at just like giving a mental, like an image of something where it just encapsulated so much about someone. She said this, uh, one of her scene partners, uh, maybe this was when they were doing part of their standup back.

Anyway, I don't know what she said. So he had gotten off the bus and come to comedy class, come, come to comedy class with stapled pants. So the hands of his pants were stapled, and I don't know, for some reason, that just made me it just made it so funny and that you could just see, like, the image I had was that this guy was, like, working in some place where he had a uniform and he had to staple his pants and but he didn't have money or time to get them him, but he was still going to improv class.

So with that one, In mental image that she gave me, I had a whole story about this person. So, um, anyways, it's just funny how you can learn from the craziest in the craziest ways and from the, from, you know, different things that come your way. Okay. I'm rambling back to this story. So she was having so much fun doing these improv classes and she would come home and she was just so excited and I could tell that she was like really good and excited and.

You know, when you're around someone that's doing what they love or they're in the beginning stages of doing something new and they're really excited about it, it's such a great energy, which is one of the reasons why I love being a coach. I love being in that energy of excitement and enthusiasm when you say yes.

to the possibilities of what you would love. And so I, because I have, have always had this, I guess, ability superpower, which I'm now really realizing to see possibility and people to see talent and people to hold the belief that that's possible for them. So I said, Hey, I don't even know how I knew, knew about this, but I said, there's this comedy fest festival in Aspen.

I honestly don't know how I even knew about this, but it's called the Aspen Comedy Festival. And it was like, I think it might still be this top festival, very exclusive private event, events for like the top talents and comedians in, you know, in comedy and improv and stand up in, um, comedies on, on TV. It was Like a gathering of the best of the best in the comedy world.

And so I said to her, we should go to the Aspen Comedy Festival. She said, well, yeah, that would be great. But we don't have tickets. We don't know anyone. Like, who are we? We're just like, nobodies, you know? And I said, Yes, yes, that is true. We don't know anybody. It's very exclusive. It's hard to get in. We don't have tickets.

We have no experience in comedy. And then I said, and yes, we don't have tickets. We don't know anyone. We, you know, we really have no, have no right to be there. And why don't we just go? Why don't we just go and see what happens? And she was like, well, you know, and so then we just started talking. I said, well, we could, you know, we could get tickets.

We could fly there. We could book a hotel room and we could be in Aspen. We could just be in the energy of the comedy festival. And then we could just see what happens. I said, we could, we could go to the venue and we could just ask for a ticket and you know, who knows what might happen. She was like, okay, so I got the tickets and, you know, booked all made all the reservation, you know, arrangements and we went and we were so excited because we had said yes.

And we had no idea how this was going to work out. I mean, no idea how it's going to work out, but we just went and actually that was. A big part of the excitement and the thrill of it is that we were taking a big leap of faith. And so we went and we just lived in this. Yes. And we just lived in it. So we would, you know, go, we checked into our hotel and we met people on the bus.

Okay, here it's coming back to me. So there was some people on this shuttle. So Aspen is really, really small. And so The people that were on our plane, we saw all weekend long. So it's just it's a very actually small town. And so you will see people over and over again. Like, you could see people on the on the, you know, on the ski lift that you were on the airplane with like, it's just very small.

So when we were in the shuttle from the airport to the hotel. We were talking to some people on the shuttle about what we were doing, and I think they might have even said, Are y'all here for the comedy festival? We're like, Yeah, and I can't remember all the details. Y'all, this was a very long time ago, but one thing just kept leading to another.

And so I think they told us, Well, it's happening at this hotel. Like tonight's the opening, the opening of it, and it's at this hotel. And so my friend and I were like, Well, let's go to the hotel. This, like, fancy hotel where the, where the event was being held. So we went to the hotel. We were just walking around and we just, I told my friend, and this is another thing I'm really good at, act as if, act as if you belong here, act as if you know what's going on, act as if like you're, you know, sometimes just act as if you're important and you, you know what's happening.

So I just said, you know, just act like, you know, we belong here. And so. We walked around the hotel looking for, you know, where things were happening and we saw the sign in like the sign of where people were signing in. And so that looks really hard. The people that that were checking in did not look very friendly.

We didn't think I didn't think we would be able to get past them with any kind of smooth talking or, um, you know, any like, um, Sometimes I just can be I don't think flirtatious is the word, but just kind of engaging and kind of can kind of sometimes get what I want from people. But I could tell from these ladies at that, at that check in desk, that was not going to happen.

So, so I told my friend, I'm like, come on, let's go because I didn't want them to see us because then I think I've thought that they would mark us as like, uh, What is the word? Like sneaking in, like not supposed to be there. So I said, okay, let's go another way. And so we walked around the hotel and I found like a back door.

Oh, my God, wherever this story is coming out. I found a back door where staff was coming out and I said, let's go down there. See if there's a way in that way. And there was. So we went through the back door and we came out Like, it was kind of like a server's entrance and we came out, we were in the party.

So it was, you know, it was around where people go in and check in. We were in it. We like, we walked in and we looked up and there was the bar, you know, the open bar. There was the people like, you know, milling about and talking. Oh my God, more of this is coming up as I'm saying this. So we are. So then I go, let's just go to the bar and get a drink.

So we went to the bar and got a drink and we're just kind of standing around. We're trying not to be like starstruck and just like, what's happening? But my friend goes, she goes, look over there. She goes, that's Larry David. And so. Larry David is the, was the creator of Seinfeld. And, um, so very well known in comedy circles.

And she goes, there's Larry David as I look up and there he was. And then, um, so anyways, one thing led to another. Okay. Now this story is getting too long. So let me, let me sum it up. So that is how the whole weekend went. It was just like one thing after another, after another. So we were at that party and we just got to hobnob with all the people and the people were like leaving that party.

Going to the bar at the hotel. And so we just like followed people. I went to the bar where people were hanging out and then Conan O'Brien comes in and everyone's like, Hey, Conan. And so we were just like at this private party the whole week. It was like that it was just like one thing after another. We didn't have tickets, but we would just show up and then someone would invite us.

And, and then this is so, Oh my God. This story, I forgot so many details of it. We were walking down the street in Aspen. So this is lots of fancy shops and people walking around. And while we were walking down the street, we saw Jerry Seinfeld. We saw, um, Janine Garofalo, who was my like comedy idol. And I just fangirled over her so bad.

But it's in Aspen, you're everyone's like cool and low key. And you don't, you don't like fan of people. So we just I just smiled at her and walked by. Um, So walking down the street that same street sidewalk, I see someone that I knew from like 10 years before that hadn't seen in 10 years. And we were like, Hey, what are you doing here?

And I was like, well, we're here for the comedy festival, but we really don't have tickets. And she's like, Oh, my God, my boyfriend is. I don't remember one of the organizers or I don't know what it was exactly. But she was like, my boyfriend is something. And, um, you. He can give you tickets, so he's just like, meet us at the, at the hotel lobby at so at such and such a time and we'll give you tickets.

So we met, we went there and she never showed up and I was like, huh, okay. But while we were sitting in the lobby, we saw like 10 more famous people and then we saw the famous people like interacting with each other. We just sat there and people watch and it was, it was worth the price of the whole trip just to be in that very fancy, luxurious.

to hotel sitting in the lobby like we belong there and just watching all these, um, you know, famous people interact with each other. So we thought, Oh, well, you know, we try, we didn't get tickets and I was like, Nope, we're here. We're not giving up. So we found out where the big event was that night. And we went, we got dressed up like we belong.

We went and that security was pretty tight and I didn't think we were going to get in. But we went to the lobby area where they were checking in. We just milled around like we belong, got a drink, milled around like we belong. And this. Man saw us and he had seen us. We had seen him and he had seen us many times over the weekend.

And so he walked up to us and he looked at us and he said, Y'all don't have tickets, do you? And we were like, no, we don't have tickets. And he's like, okay, I shouldn't be doing this. And then he reached in his pocket, he slid them across the little table that we were standing at. He goes, here's two tickets, but do not tell anyone where you got them.

Y'all. We got tickets and we were able to go. And Bob Costas, if, you know, he is sort of a, you know, pretty famous interviewer. So he was there inter interviewing Jerry Seinfeld about the success of the Seinfeld show and sort of some things about comedy. And so we were in this room, you know, with this very exclusive private event with these comedy people.

And that all started by us saying yes. We would love to go and We'll figure it out. So we didn't let the idea that we didn't have tickets or we didn't know anyone or we shouldn't be there We just said yes, and and one thing led to another We got to go to the show now I will caveat this by saying there were two parts to having tickets for the show there was a ticket to go to the viewing like the like the private TV viewing of it and In the, in the, like, in the ballroom next door to where this was happening.

So that's where our tickets were for. They weren't for the big main event, but we were right next door in the, like, ballroom adjacent watching it live on, um, on the TV. So anyways, we had fun. We had the adventure of our life. We saw so many famous comedy people. It was so fun to, to just be around that energy.

And it was such an amazing experience all because we said yes. And. And so that's what I want for you today, for all of us, when you use, yes, and. You know, the opposite of that is either or, which is when you say either or it shuts off possibilities, right? You have like this binary choice of two things. But when you say yes and it's open, it's expansive, it's open to possibilities because you don't know what could happen from saying yes.

Yes. So when you say yes and amazing things can happen. So my, uh, gift for you, my challenge for you, my invitation for you this week is to say yes to something that you would love. Um, and be open to the possibilities. You can be open by saying, yes, I would love that. And what can I do right now? What's one action step that I can take in the direction of my dream?

There's someone you could call. There's an email that you could send. There's someplace that you could go. There is always something that you can do to step into the possibilities when you say yes. So I want to say yes. to you all that I believe in you. I believe in your goals and dreams and vision. And when you say yes to what you would love for your life, for your business and say, follow that with, and That's where all the possibilities can flow to you.

So thanks for listening. I know this episode was a little bit different with my rambling story, but hey, that's what you got for today. So thanks for listening and I'll talk to y'all next week. Bye.

 

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